
I’ve started to think there is a reason I begun
this movie-blog some months ago. And that’s not because I was bored-to-death-and-thriving-to-do-at-least-one-coolest-thing
in my life. And also the intention of this blog was not to tell you about what
happened to Frodo’s fucking ring or how miserably bad Ben Affleck was in
Daredevil. It was about fanism and love for an out-of-the-box dark neo-noir
hard hitting cinema. And I want to tell you something. Yes, YOU! My
rarest-of-the-rare and coolest reader, you know dark-cinemas are the most
beautiful thing and when you find it the whole world tastes like daffodil
daydream. So, it’s one thing you got to do. You got to hold on to them – TIGHT
and Never-Let-It-Go. And not to make the same mistake as I did ‘coz the
whole world would taste like Mama June after the hot yoga. And don’t ask me
what Miss Mama June tastes like ‘because it’s like two hobos fucking in a shoe
filled with piss. OK, enough! The point is that the Christmas is far out and
I’ve to make a blog entry about one coolest movie on my naughty list. I’m
waiting for this like 4 months 3 weeks 4 days, 14 hours and 5 minutes to
explain you what it did to me. And what exactly that movie did to me?
BOOM!

Oops, I almost forgot to warn you! Fan-Spoiler
alert! Yeah, Sorry about that. Out of the shitload of things I loved about the
movie Deadpool, one thing that stands out is the kind of tranquility and
assuredness it carries. Although there are scenes featuring several head shots,
where itty-bitty pieces of skulls are flying and falling around, ninja swords
cutting human flesh into pork chops and making a fucking kebab, highly
perturbing swords and tube stabbing scenes, genital references in a most casual
way and some rough and kinky sex. But still there is a sense of easiness
around, thanks to Mr. Deadpool who is totally Merc with a mouth, talkative and
tendency to break the fourth wall, which is used by writers to the best
humorous effect. (Hey, are you still on the kinky sex line?) To tell you more
about the protagonist and his love interest, they both have a pretty mournful
childhood and a strained son-father or daughter-father relationship as in the
latter’s case. Still, unlike, Spiderman, Batman and rest other superheroes they
both don’t keep crying around instead they keep calm and chill the fuck out of
themselves from Halloween to Christmas and New Year to all the way to Thanks
Giving. OK! Cue the music…
Speaking of the sense of humor of Mr. Pool he is
as witty as Tony Stark and as prompt and agile as Spider-man when it comes to
one liners. It’s almost like he is the combination of both, but what you will
be seeing and remembering after getting out from the cinema hall is he is none
but Dead-fucking-pool in the end of the day. You betcha! He doesn’t leave a
single moment to take a dig on X-men, Wolverine, Green Lantern, Batman-Robin,
and Avengers. I can easily spill out some gags from the movie here.
Colossus:
We’re taking you to the Professor
Deadpool:
McAvoy or Stewart? O God! This whole timeline is so confusing.
(Seeing
Colossus and Mega-sonic in X-men mansion)
Deadpool:
Only two of you living in a mansion this big? It’s almost like Fox Studio
couldn’t afford to have any more X-Men.
And the best part is he doesn’t
even leave a chance to take a dig at his own history (green lantern and x-men)
Deadpool/Wade
Wilson: Hey just make sure the color is not green and not animated!
Even though his appearance after
the mutation is like Ryan Reynolds’s melting wax statue in Madam Tusad’s museum
that has been pissed over by every audience that came to see him, but this
never comes in between us, because his venereal remarks glues us to the screen and
before we understand his trademark sarcastic one-liners there is another coming
through. Of course, since it is a superhero movie there are some superhero
movie clichés but it treats those clichés with its own unique brew of insane
depravity and in the process, carves itself a giant, bloody and perverted niche.
Example? If you ask… here is the one.
Colossus:
Do you have the OFF-switch?
Deadpool:
Yea right next to the prostate or is it the ON-switch!
OK! Time to make the chimi-fucking-changas!
Firstly, as you know Deadpool is no superhero.
He’s an anti - hero. He is not like other superheroes who always wins in the
end, whether he’s trying to save his friends, discover his past or even make a
quick dollar to pay his rent, Deadpool just can’t catch the break. Plans
backfire, friends die, and every day he seems to lose more ground in the battle
for his sanity. Moreover, there isn’t any moral ambiguity to his character. He
is just a villain. He bends and breaks rules that guide more mainstream heroes.
He is happy to call himself a villain than a superhero and as Mr. Wade Wilson pro-cons the super hero thing in the
movie itself. Speaking about the Pro – They pull down a gaggle of ass, local
dry cleaning discounts, lucrative film deal both origin stories and larger
ensemble team movies. Con – they’re lame – ass teacher’s pets! And my word,
Deadpool is way way far from that and for the record, he is super but he’s
nooooo hero.
Ah, shhhhhiit. Did I leave the stove on?
Deadpool
is a cannibalistic mercenary like Beatrix Kiddo from the Kill Bill (2003-04) series and
is undoubtedly the worst mercenary ever, but, on a demarcation he is not
carrying a People-to-kill list. He kills people for money to alleviate boredom
and only occasionally does the “right” thing. And most importantly, he doesn’t
believe in altruism, he does what he wants as he has no one to answer to and no
one to see through.
Now, you might be wondering that you are too cool
to read a movie blog about Deadpool like this and you can be anywhere than here.
‘Coz you’re more about sullen silences followed by a mean comment and then more
silences…So now since I’m finished what’s it going to be, sullen silence or
mean comment?